When everything falls apart/ Your arms hold me together/When everything falls apart/You're the only hope for this heart/ When everything falls apart/ and my strength is gone/I find YOU mighty and strong/ You keep holding on/You keep holding on!
That is the chorus to 'Everything Falls' by FEE. This song has really helped me grieve these last few days and kept me strong because the words have such a powerful meaning. Every time I reflect on what I'm listening to, I just keep thanking God that I'm still alive, my family is ok, my friend isn't the one with cancer, I'm somehow being a blessing and still seeing God in the fog of everything going on, and most of all, I know who my true friends are! Thank you to everyone who has lifted us up in prayer this week and always and has been a steady shoulder to lean on these last few years. You guys mean the world to me and I am so blessed to know you. My cousin was talking yesterday about how blessed she felt to know her true friends and be able to call them whenever she needed help, etc.; she said we were lucky to have as many fingers on one hand as true friends. I realized I had more true friends than fingers.
God has blessed me these past two weeks and I have seen His never failing, ever strong presence just as much as I and every one around me has experienced trials. The thing is, those trials didn't last and their lasting impression wasn't as strong as God's reliance and strength. That is what hit me today while I was jogging and listening to this song.
"I will never leave you nor forsake you..."
How is it possible to feel weighted down if we know-and I mean *really* realize and *know*- that God is with us in EVERYTHING. We are not alone no matter what is going on or no matter who is going through it with us.
"Be careful for nothing..."
God will never give us more than we can bear and sometimes when we can't
bear it, it's because He doesn't want us to. We don't have to!! Give it
to God.
"In everything....give thanks."
Today, I was feeling so down. We went to visit our cousins yesterday and I was focused on helping them. Today, the grief of everything hit me and I was so overwhelmed with emotion. In times like this, it is important to work through it and let it go. I did that but didn't feel better until the words "But hope is rising with the sun/rising with the sun/the storm will last for the night/ but You have overcome/You have overcome" came up for the 10th time (repeat ftw!). Then it hit me. Even though Uncle is gone, we're going to be alright. My immediate family is healthy. My dear friend's Grandma/guardian is very ill. This is really hard but it would be a ton harder were it my friend. It has been a looonnggg two weeks filled with a lot of pain and stress but it's almost over and I am not broken at all. I've been discouraged but so many friends have lifted us up in prayer and been there in this hard time! God has moved so close and I feel His strength; not in me but in Him, I can lean on Him. More than that, I can GIVE it all to Him and let Him carry both my burden and me.
Then I felt better. I felt peace and joy. Not because of my hardships, but because of what I had learned from them, because of the hope for the future, and because God was in charge. This storm may last for the night but when it's over, the damage may remain but the lasting effect won't be the storm; it will be what we held onto during.
If we hold onto ourselves or even others, we will be let down because there is nothing strong there in the face of a tornado. If we hold onto our possessions, they will also be blown away. God has calmed raging winds and seas, will He not be able to better care for us particularly if we choose to run into His open arms?
Yes, grieve!! Work through the pain or you will never be able to cope. But what is the lasting impression from this? What do you want to remember when you look back? What will you take away from it? That is what we must face when the storm is over, and be assured that it will ALWAYS end. Nothing lasts forever....except God. He is in the storm with you, hold on and you will weather it.
My cousin and I talked about the grieving process and one thing he said struck me: when it's over it's time to move on and remember yourself.
Yes, grieve...but remember the good left in life. Find the good. Find where God is and go there...He is always going to lead you to that light at the end of the tunnel.
When everything falls apart/Your arms hold me together
"....Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou
dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."
~Joshua 1:9
