Blaming Game

I love dryer sheets, they hold up so well but are so lacy and delicate, however, one tug and they have come unraveled. We are a lot like that. We hold up fine but one tug and we are walking around trying to find who tugged us so we can blame someone for our mess. I think I have been blaming God for mine...

We feel like we have to blame someone in order to put anger over the hurt we feel inside, to cover the open wound, and when we don't want to blame the person who did or have no one to blame, we often blame God or even ourselves. This doesn't fix the problem though, does it? We then become so consumed with our own emotions that we cannot move forward.

Lately my life has felt like it is unraveling at it's core: me. I literally feel myself breaking into pieces and shattering on the floor dragging behind me a untold, unseen, unspoken  burden that no man could carry. Inside the only thing that can block out the constant tears is blaming something to distract from my hurt. So I sub-consciously blamed God. But really, how did that of all things help me?

How can we heal if we are blaming something or someone? How can we live if we are relying on ourselves to heal us instead of God? Let me re-phrase that: When we blame someone for what is going wrong in our life, instead of feeling what we are feeling then giving it to God, we focus on the negative which only brings us down.

This isn't the only thing that will keep us from healing though...

 For the past two years I have been ill...I hate it...I'm ready for my life to go on...I'm tired of faking it and saying "great" when ppl ask me how I am. But I alone cannot change it. In fact, my doctor and parents can't even change it :P
God can, but for some reason I haven't healed...could it be for a purpose? Two days ago I realized that things were changing, I cried one last time, but felt different afterwards...I stopped blaming and started thinking of how I could change me. Since then I have seen certain things in my life start building back to where they should be and even better.

No, I am not yet well, no, things will never be as they were or could have been...but with God (not fighting Him) I feel like things are going to be as they were supposed to be...even if I won't graduate at 17, and even if I have given up S&D for good, and even if ...ya get the point...my life has changed oh so much, but I am finally realizing that those changes needed to happen to make me the person I am on my way to being...the person God wanted me to be.

No matter what is going wrong in your life or how much you feel God or even yourself is to blame...remember that all things happen for a purpose, simply be open to seeing that purpose when God is ready to reveal it.

...as I leave this keyboard I go to a new life, a good life, where I do not have to carry my burdens alone and everything will work out for the better in the long run...join me?

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.
~Romans 8:28

NOTE:  This is a lot, I've kinda poured out my heart...pls be courteous of this fact.